a Single Parent Dad's Point of View
This page has been created to highlight the struggle that many single parent dads have to endure. For example; What do you think a husband or boyfriend would think about his loved one getting together with a lone single parent dad for coffee mornings..! Be honest; would your boyfriend or husband like you spending fun time with another man while he is out working to pay the bills!... Single parent dads do have a real tough time, because they don't have anything like the support network that the mums have. Many partners actually feel threatened by the presence of a single lone dad in the house, especially if he relates to the struggle of the mum with understanding and first hand knowledge. This leaves many single parent dads with not much company or support, and yes even single parent dads lose their social skills and stop going down the pub.
a myth and simply not true that women are attracted to single dads !...
Well it might be true; but you soon get fed up of walking round telling every woman you meet that you are single.
How many of you have been shot down in flames while flirting!
All the while you're holding the baby you are simply presumed married, so when you appear in anyway too friendly, you simply look a complete jerk.
I mean: who really wants to be chatted up by a man, who chats up other women in front of his kids,
It doesn't look good and makes you look bad. So unless you tell them their not gunna know. Perhaps a T-shirt is the answer !
always say to me "It must be tough being a single parent dad "
The actual parenting side of it is easy and comes strangely natural, but the taking care of myself is however a different story. I have been a single lone parent male for the past 10 years, and it has indeed been very difficult. But only in the way that it has changed me. I was once upon a time a very out going person, one of the lads you might say. My son was 14 months old when I became a single parent dad and have nursed, mothered and cared for him ever since.
the bigger picture is that I have some how lost my identity.
Since taking on the role of a traditional mum, I have by way of an occupational hazard adopted many motherly instincts and emotions, A typical male may for example, go down the pub, play football and then go out with the lads, where as I would be much happier in female company discussing the children and the weeks shopping costs. (Not to say that's all we discuss)
support each over in many ways that dads don't
which leaves many dads feeling very isolated, for example;
Single Mums hug when times are hard;
Single parent Dads could perhaps do this, but we don't)
Mums can break down it tears, and will probably get a hug as a result of it.
Dads could do this, but would probably be frowned upon so we don't)
women prefer employed partners!
I have in this time had several part-time jobs but have not in 10 years worked full-time. Although fully employed as a lone parent, I am still unemployed, and this has had an impact on my self-esteem, and have shied away from relationships as a result of it. Over the years I have (rightly of wrongly) adopted the idea that the instinct to survive in many females, is to seek a partner that can contribute financially, and in some way improve the quality of their life. The hunter gatherer instinct in me suggests that I cannot provide financially, and therefore will not be seen as an attractive partner. Perhaps this is me being cynical, but it is however the way I feel. I guess it's all to do with that macho bullshit.
tough being a single parent dad in a world geared for mothers
Ten years ago I tried to join a single parent group but was advised that it might not be a good idea to come along, since all the members were female and some would recent a male presence, thankfully things have changed since then, but it did mean that there was no support group for me
problem: used to be the training opportunities offered by the
New Deal for lone parent males, almost all of them seemed to be geared
towards the female, i.e. there are very few courses for the macho stuff
like building, mechanics or engineering, but thankfully that's all changed
Did you know that as a lone parent you could get training in the following:
CARPENTRY AND JOINERY
GAS DOMESTIC AND INDUSTRIAL APPLIANCES
PAINTING AND DECORATING
ELECTRICAL WIRING,PORTABLE APPLIANCE TESTING
COMPUTER AIDED DESIGN
MOTOR VEHICLE PROGRAMME AWARD
C&G BODY REPAIR
C&G BODY SPRAYING
PCV TRAINING AND DRIVING INSTRUCTOR TRAINING
NOTE: All of the above training is available to women as well as men ...
New Deal is a key part of the Government's strategy to get people back to work. It gives people on benefits the help and support they need to look for work, including training and job preparation, Check it out: www.newdeal.gov.uk/
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